It needs to be obvious how you changed things. To help you on your way to this high level of preparation, we offer our free Interview Primers.
Or, to return to the example of personal liberty as a theme, you could show how you take control of your academic and professional paths, adhering steadfastly to your values and vision. If you look closely here, he did not speak about his interest in technology but rather how he felt technology could solve problems in the world.
During his school days, he decided that he had to do something to help people around him. What the school is looking for here is the more personal side of the story—what has motivated you along the way and is motivating you still, prodding you to pursue an MBA as part of your efforts to continue on your chosen professional path.
You do not need to connect your intended contribution to the Yale community to intellectual curiosity, diversity, the integrated curriculum or any other facet of the MBA program mentioned in the question. Since a thesis must be arguable, no evidence in a good academic argument can speak for itself—all of it must be processed by the writer.
We are more than happy to provide one-on-one assistance with this highly personal essay to ensure that your efforts over the past year are presented in the best light possible. At Ellin Lolis Consulting, our goal is to add more value to your application than you ever thought possible by giving you the tools and positioning you need to write outstanding essays that help you gain admission to a top MBA program.